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Founders Message

Dear Parents:

There are thousands of articles and hundreds of books and workbooks on parenting that can be very confusing. However, after over 30 years of working with youth, families, and juvenile offenders, I have discovered a few life-changing, vital strategies and behaviors that can assist parents as they struggle with the increasing difficulties of raising healthy, happy, and productive children.

I was raised in what we call today a dysfunctional family. My father was an extremely emotional and sometimes physically abusive alcoholic. My mother was a gifted, loving woman who succumbed to alcoholism to cope with her pain. They both died in their early 60's missing a major part of their lives and an opportunity to know their grandchildren.

Like others raised in similar circumstances, I was determined not to do what my father did. However, the early years of programming, from birth to about age eight, are burned deep into our memories, and we can spend a lifetime trying to deal with them. What I have discovered from years of facilitating life skills groups and raising five successful children I have put into the Parenting Workbook. I have taken that  information and narrowed it into shorter, more direct strategies for parents. However, be it known that my success as a father I owe to my partner, my loving wife Nora, who became my greatest teacher and made our home a sanctuary where love could be fostered and enjoyed.

This information and handbook, 12 Essential Strategies for Parenting, is formulated on proven, evidence-based models that have been shown to effect  permanent  changes. The goal with any cognitive program is to assist people in changing  faulty thinking and self-defeating behaviors.

The best way to absorb these cognitive skills for parents is to study and meditate on each skill. Use a thesaurus and a dictionary to look up similar words and their meanings; this will greatly expand the skills. What we offer at Strategies For Families (S4F) are not just words, but real, tried-and-tested solutions to actual problems. The workbooks offer a manualized, structured curriculum with a beginning and end.  

We are not the experts regarding your personal case. You know more about you than anybody else. The cure for what ails each of us is in us. We can't fix or change others, but we can make improvements within ourselves. In so doing, we can invite others to change. Teenagers are like young branches: pushing them is useless. They will either spring back to the way they were, or, even worse, they will break. If we try to force a change, we cross boundaries and destroy not only them but also ourselves. There are universal laws which we cannot break; we can only break ourselves against them. The law of agency, the ability to choose for ourselves, is one of the most important of these laws. It is not about having control over anyone, it is about controlling ourselves.
We hope to become a resource for you by supplying education, insights, connections to other parents, access to professional coaches, and information. These 12 Essential Strategies are for parents. Children, under the age of 12, cannot be taught cognitive skills because they are not sufficiently self-aware. Therefore, the only way to assist toddlers and young children is through their parents. For youth 13 and over, we have provided The Youth  Workbook  which is to be completed by parents and youth together. We welcome you to the path of success. Enjoy your journey.

Sincerely yours,   

    Larry Lloyd
    Founder of Strategies For Families